I don't feel like an MC?!??!??!?!!

For almost half of my Masters commission year I still didn't feel at all like an MC. I always saw the Mc's on tour after they had been changed and so different from the beginning of the year. But now, for the first time, I think I feel like an MC. Thursday was our first ministry time. The whiz kids tutoring program we do on Thursday's had a small performance and then we did a dance, human video, rhythm, and three testimony's. Then again on Sunday we did a few things for one of the churches we go to on Sunday's. For the first time all year, I felt like I had something to give. And as I gave my testimony I believed that I had something to say and even though it was not that easy for me to get up there and talk, I believe what I said impacted someone. God was good as we shared what He has given us and I can't wait to do it again.

This week I am the leader of week, which means I get to hear the Lord for my class and lead them in worship and a deeper relationship with Father. I feel like the Lord is leading us to seek His love more this week. Our tour theme is about Love, and I think He is leading us to gain a greater understanding for His love so that we can pour that love out on others.

We are pretty busy for the next....well I guess the rest of the year. We are going to Kentucky in about a week for a KMI conference, then I'll be home for a week for spring break. Then we head to Seattle and not long after that we start our spring tour!!! I am the tour blogger so to hear more about our tour you can keep up with this blog: http://mcokctour.blogspot.com/

I hope you all had a great heart day, I sure did. I got a box from my family, cards and candy from my host family, and cards from my brothers and sister here. And today as I was sitting here with my little friend Mit, I got another box, it was a box of chocolate covered strawberry's from my parents!!! Talk about feeling loved!! wow, it made my day!!! I feel so loved today by many people and I hope you feel the same!!! Happy day after love day everyone!!!!

Winter wonderland!!

This past week Oklahoma had the second snow/ice storm of the winter. This is very unusual for Oklahoma weather, in fact most people don't even own a shovel! It started with an ice storm which coated everything with a nice thick layer of ice before moving on to about 5 to 6 inches of snow on top. As you can imagine, this makes one big mess of the roads and since they only have about two plow trucks in the city, it takes a while for it to get cleaned up. We had two days off from class and cancelled church on Sunday. We were snowed/iced in. We did take a trip out on Saturday to some of the lovely parks and lakes in Oklahoma city took lots of pictures of the beauty left behind from the "storm".

This is never what I thought I would see in Oklahoma, but I enjoy it greatly!!!

Peace

How is it that the sun still shines on days like these? Days when all hope seems to be lost? Days when faith and perseverance are a far away cry. How is it that the sky is still blue when darkness covers the path of my eyes? How is it that the birds still sing when there is no music left to play?

It’s another world outside the walls of my problems. It’s beauty and joy instead shame and hopelessness. It’s victory, instead of failure. Peace, in midst the storm. Peace.

I feel trapped inside this place of anguish, the window I look out holds me back from touching the freedom of peace. Why is this window here? To keep me stuck? To hold me down and tell me can’t do it and that I’m not good enough? Who put this window here that I could look out but never truly experience? I feel like I could never get past these walls and window. I fear I will only ever get to watch as the dreamers find joy and love in peace. I fear I will be left here to stay and never to be free.

But I can hear the sound of freedom calling me, it calls me to shine like the sun, to hope like the sky, and sing with the birds. I can’t hold back any longer, I long to find victory and rejoicing. I can’t let these chains hold me any longer, I’m ready to go, I’m ready to break free beyond the walls of shame and find peace in midst the storm. Peace.

Reflection...

I was shopping at wal-mart a few weeks ago with a friend and I saw one of the little girl’s from our kids program that we do on Wednesday nights. She was standing in the check out line with her daddy and a cart full of grocery’s, her Mom at home with the new baby and younger brothers. It took my mind back to the days when I would go with my daddy to the store almost every week. I always wanted to go with him to the store, those were some good times with my daddy. Whether it was a quick run for a last minute item, or a full out trip that would take hours, I was there. Also when Dad would make dinner, I was there. I loved helping him cook and I remember many nights after he got home helping him cook and get dinner ready. These were just a few of the memories that came to my mind when I saw the picture of the little girl out shopping with her daddy, I hadn't thought about those times in a long time.

This got me thinking of other good times with my Grandpa’s that I hadn't thought about in a long time. Every time we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, we would always have to go to the park and play. And one time Grandpa almost went to the park in his slippers!! And all those books we read that we would have to keep waking up Grandpa to hear the rest of the book. Tractor rides at the other Grandpa’s house are something I will never forget. All those times we spent making things and playing trains. I don’t know how I could ever forget these times.

And then my little brothers, my sweet little brothers who hardly seem little to me anymore, being that one is taller then me and the other is probably smarter then me. Oh how many days we spent tearing up the basement and leaving it a mess. Or playing in the snow making our own little sledding hills and snow forts. Woofle ball baseball, driveway hockey, extreme spoons, hot wheels and the list could go on forever.

But something I never had that I always wished I could have had was an older brother. I never knew what it was like to have an older brother who could protect me and look out for me. I often thought about what it would be like. Being here at Master’s commission I now have five older brothers who watch out for me and protect me. We were talking about this week what a brother is to us girls. I suddenly realized that I had what I always dreamed of, I know what it is really like to have older brothers for the first time in my life. They protect me, pick on me, teach me about cars, push me to lead, play cards with me, laugh with me, care about me when I'm down, and most of all, encourage me. I never thought I would really know what it is like to have older brothers, but I do. To my brothers, grandpa's, and Dad, Thanks for all the good memories and loving me so much. I will never forget those things that you did that made me feel loved. Thanks :D

Keep me

Often times the best way I can share my heart is through a song. They just always seem to say the right thing. So many times I will have a song that really speaks what I want to. The last few weeks have been challenging for me, hearing God and feeling His presence has become a fight. Others in my class are dealing with this too. God is calling us for more, to move past that beginning phase and move on to deeper longing, greater sacrifice, more vulnerability. And it's going to take us to new levels of freedom, excellence, joy and greater anointing. So through this time of pressing in more, this song came to me as I sat with Him, just trying to hear Him, feel Him. This song is my hearts cry today. I pray this over my class as we seek for more.



Lyrics to Keep me;
Here I stand before you,
and here I bare my soul,
here I am longing,
until I see your face,

Keep me, Keep me, let me hear you,
Keep me, keep me, let me hear you,

Here I am undone,
And here I am in awe,
And here I lay my life down,
To know your ways,

All I want is to be near to you,
all I need is to see you,

Keep me, keep me, let me hear you,
keep me, keep me, let me hear you,

I can hardly wait!!!!

Only 15 days, 22 hours, 34 mintues and 45 seconds till I get to go home and see my family for the first time since September 19 at about 3 in the afternoon. Yes, I am so so so excited!!! It can't come fast enough for me. I can't wait to see all their faces and go get our tree, and make cookies and other food for Christmas, spend the day playing with our new toys, then spending the next two days after Christmas with extended family and getting to meet my first second cousin!!!! It's all so so so exciting. Today I am having a hard time focusing on homework and other things that need to be done because all I want to do is go shopping for gifts!!!! But with two weeks left, I don't want to rush it away.

This past weekend we had a busy time!! Friday night was Christmas caroling with on of the churches. Then Saturday was our monthly homeless outreach where we served food, handed out clothes, and just talked to a large number of homeless people downtown Oklahoma city. I have never really worked with the homeless before so it was kind of sad to see so many cold people who would come through the line over and over again just to get good meal for once. then Sunday was riverside school Christmas party. This is a school for kids who are in trouble or are just not wanted by their parents and pretty much every single one was Indian. So a bunch of churches from all over the state work together to buy gifts for some 600 kids who live there. We helped pass out gifts and got to spend some time just talking with the kids. It was cool to reach out and be able to minister to these kids.

So two weeks left, I'm not going to waste it. I am going to enjoy this Christmas season, and enjoy where God has me. He is going to do amazing things in us in these two weeks, and I don't want to miss it. So I'll spend a few more minutes acting like giddy excited chipmunks waiting for Christmas, then off to reading and memorizing for me. So enjoy this happy time to celebrate what God is doing, He is working and moving and you don't want to miss this one!!!

It's beginning to look a lot like christmas...

WOW!!! This last month has just flown by, leaving me wondering where time has gone and why it has been so long since I last wrote. And now it's almost Christmas time and time will continue to fly by!!! I am going to try to tell you all that has been going on and keeping me away from this poor neglected blog. On Halloween we had "trunk or treat" party at the church and me and my roommate were dancers. Dressing up for Halloween was another first for me. Another new experience for me was my first birthday away from home. I thought this would be one the hardest birthday's ever, but I was quickly proven wrong. It started the day before my birthday when I was told a few girls had walked in the church wanting more info about Master's commission and that I should talk to them about it, I walked in the office and there was my two amazing friends, Leah and Jessica from Michigan!!!! They came to celebrate my birthday with my and I have never been so surprised in my whole life. Anyone who was there can tell you I just stood there in shock and didn't know what to say or do. It was a great surprise!!!! My class also made it a very special day with cards and gifts and cake!!! My family sent me lots of awesome gifts that so blessed me!!! Also, that whole weekend we had a former MC from WA come and teach us dance for the tour we do in the spring. It was all very tiring, and sometimes frustrating but also very fun!!!

A few weeks ago we went to our first Microsoft show to raise money. That was a very good experience for all of us. My favorite part was getting to know the other MC's from all over and getting to hang out with them. Then it was thanksgiving. I went and stayed with a friends and her family for the week here in OKC. We did lots of playing cards, watching movies and football and eating!!! It was lots of fun. I also got to spend a night with my Oklahoma little sister and her family which again was tons of fun. Even though it was hard for me to not be at home with family, I was still able to feel very loved and cared for down here. So thank you everyone!!!

Only about 22 days till I will fly home to spend Christmas with my family. before that we will still have about three weeks of class, Christmas party with the whiz kids we tutor, and the talent show. This is always my favorite time of year and I love getting ready for Christmas!!!! I am so excited to see what the Lord is going to do in my class in the next three weeks as we dive back into this lifestyle!!!!

Nope, Nope, Nopedy nope,

I almost got stuck again today people, thankfully the Lord stooped me. Let me set the scene and maybe you can relate to this. Senor year of highschool, doing the same thing over and over again, for me it was church, Spanish class, youth group, babysit and fire-up. My life in a net shell. It was repetitive. After a few weeks the newness and excitement wares off and I was just going through the motions. Sometimes I felt like I was a robot just programed to do moves and go here and go there. I was stuck in a rut. Yes every once and a while I would get excited about something new, like spring break or retreat or craft day or chuck-e-cheese!!!!! But it would never fail to always go right back to where it started, repetitive. But one day it stopped and there was more to life, infact A LOT more to life. I graduated and would never have to do some of that stuff again, and suddenly I was wondering why I let my self get so stuck.

Can anyone other then me relate to that? I mean people are like zombies sometimes, just walking around looking straight a head. I was caught yesterday doing that, and I have only done this for four, almost five weeks. I was stuck, just going to class, just doing drama, just doing uturn, and yes, just doing daily clean. But my heart was not there, I wasn't looking for what God was going to teach me and tell me. What if instead of just having to do the same thing over and over and over again, we GOT to make the most of the time we have and look forward to what new and exciting things that God is going to do today!!! I think if we would just be able to stop looking straight ahead we might be able to catch his little wonders in everything we do. I only have on year to be a MC student, this is it and I don't want to wonder at the end of the year why I spent so much time just doing and not truly enjoying.

Yes my phone still hates me and yes it is warmer in MI today then here and yes I didn't sleep very well because I couldn't stop coughing and yes we are missing half our carpool this week and yes I still have to fill out a time log, but God is still speaking to me. I still get to spend everyday seeking after His face and I still get to be lost in His love and yes, always and forever will I still be taken care of by the one who calls me his favorite. I STILL am truly loved by Father and many others.

So if you ever see me walking around like a zombie again, stuck in a rut, just hit me over the head or write me a note or talk to me or give me club or something so I know I am stuck. Try climbing out of your rut today and see what you find in the light, it just might change your life!!!!

In my daddy's love...

Friday was what we call the encounter. We did lots of worshiping and soaking in the love of God. We also did lots of healing ministry, the Lord healed me of some deep inner wounds that day. But while I was soaking at one point the Lord gave me this picture that I want to try to share with you. It was the most beautiful picture I have ever seen and still today I can see it as plain as when he gave it to me. There is no way I could use words to describe this picture, no paint or artist could put it on paper, only my father who gave it to me.

I saw a little girl who had a pretty dress on and she was swinging and she was laughing and giggling but no one else was with her. Then I saw God looking down at her and laughing and giggling right alone with her. It was as if nothing in the world mattered, she was just enjoying her Father and he was enjoying her. She has the best dad in the world and she knows it without any doubt that her daddy is in love with her. She is accepted by him and knows he will never let her go.

As if that was not beautiful enough to me, he then said to me "This is you Hannah". Wow was all I could think and just let myself be loved by Him. I know my daddy love me!!!!!

Prophetic art

Something we do in MCs a lot is prophetic painting. We ask God to show us a picture and we paint it or draw it. One day this week after lunch we all went outside and asked God to give the class a painting. This is what he gave us:
Basically its our journey this year. Having a broken heart as hard as stone and climbing our way to God's heart which is his carriage. The stars are us pulling his heart to others and furthering his kingdom. The sunset represents the sunsetting on who we were before and the change that is coming this year.